O Captain, My Captain
by Josephine Falnor
Summary: While on leave, Levi bumps into Erwin Smith, a man who seems oddly familiar, although he can't quite place him. The feeling is mutual, and as the two spend more time together, they begin to see scenes from their past life, while also becoming closer in the current one. Written for Eruri Week 2014
1. Day 1: PastMemories (Levi)

_**Author's Note: Hey guys! Good lord, it's been a long time since I've posted anything here. I'm still into Death Note (don't worry!), but SNK has become my other big fandom.**_

_**Writing this piece for Eruri Week 2014. I've already posted most of it on AO3 (my user name is JosephineFalnor, if you want to follow me there), but wanted to put it up here too, since I've been here much longer.**_

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><p>The hardest part of being on leave was that, without work, Levi rarely knew what to do with himself. He had been in the military for the past ten years, having joined straight out of high school. Sometimes he entertained the idea of retiring and doing some other sort of work, but always changed his mind when he realized there was nothing else he wanted to do. He was an excellent soldier, and the work suited him, especially since he'd been given command over his own squad. They were all gone though, enjoying their time off, visiting their families, most likely giving their Corporal no thought.<p>

In contrast, Levi would be spending his break alone at a small flat on base. He had no family, very few friends, and no real home to return to. His flat was sparsely decorated and immaculately clean, almost to the point of being an art form. It served Levi's needs, certainly, but even he wouldn't lie and say it was a pleasant place to spend all of his time.

Like some of the other soldiers, he had registered for three classes, partly to work toward a degree that would allow him to become an officer and partly to occupy himself while he was on leave. Even with as much time as he put into these, he still found himself with more free time than he felt comfortable with. As a result, his routine had two breaks built in that gave him a good reason to go out every day, one in each the morning and evening.

Levi would wake up each morning at 4 am, take a quick shower, then dress. He then walked down the street to a coffee shop that sold a black tea that held a strong appeal for him. He would sit and drink one cup while flipping through the newspaper; he'd leave with a second cup of tea. Back home, he'd sip his second cup while working on readings for class. After a quick lunch, he worked out (the last thing he ever wanted was to lose muscle mass while on leave), after which he worked on assignments, if he had any. He left the flat again for dinner, this time at a small, clean restaurant. Upon returning home, he'd make himself a cup of tea and take another shower before retiring early, considering that another day checked off until he returned to work.

He was content with his routine and kept it up, day in and day out. Rather than being bored with it, he found it relaxing.

It was finally broken just over two months after he went on leave. It was winter and Levi was bundled up in a heavy coat, scarf, and earmuffs. He was making his way down the sidewalk, gloved fingers wrapped around his tea, when a man walking toward him slipped on the ice. He caught himself and managed to stay upright, but not before bumping into Levi, just enough to send his feet sliding out from under him. The cup flew out of his hands, spilling all over the ground. Levi's coat acted like a sponge when he landed, soaking up the tea. His teeth grit, he looked up, intending to snap at whoever had been careless enough to knock him down. As his eyes met with the stranger's, he found himself losing track of what he'd planned to say.

He was staring up at the same man, but the surroundings had changed entirely. It was dim, almost like it was evening, and something was holding him down. He felt a terrible, rabid sort of rage build up inside him, telling him to attack, to rip the man in front of him limb from limb. That … that didn't make sense though. He'd just tripped, hadn't he? He couldn't be sure of that anymore. He felt himself being pulled up and he kept his eyes pinned to the man, even as everything around him began to fade.

"Oh my. I'm very sorry about that."

Levi blinked hard and glanced around, confused. What had happened to the darkness, to the anger, to everything? Everything slowly came back to him. He'd slipped on ice, fallen, dropped his tea, his coat was ruined, and this stranger was now helping him to his feet as he apologized. That's right, the man had knocked Levi down.

"Tch. You should watch where you're going," he muttered, pulling out of the man's hold as he rebalanced himself. "Lucky you didn't give me a concussion."

The man looked extremely apologetic as he stepped back, giving Levi his space.

"I'm afraid I didn't realize the ice was so slick." His eyes moved down and Levi realized he was looking at his coat. "I'm assuming a coat like that is dry clean only, correct?"

"Yes, not that I see why it's any business of yours," Levi responded, his tone bitter.

"I'd be happy to have it cleaned for you."

Well. That was an interesting turn of events. Levi hadn't expected an offer like that, not from a stranger, not when he'd been less than pleasant about being knocked down.

In any other situation, Levi guessed he'd have told the person to go fuck themselves. Something about this man though… Levi stared at him, meeting his eyes. He'd seen them before. He didn't know where or when, but he had.

"Do I know you?" His eyes narrowed as he asked the question. The man looked confused, but smiled after a moment.

"No, I don't believe so."

Perfect. Now Levi looked like an idiot. He huffed as he started to unbutton his coat, never once taking his eyes off the man.

"You were serious about having it cleaned?"

"Of course. I try not to offer things like that unless I'm serious." God, the man's smile was infuriating. Levi couldn't tell if it was genuine or not. "Do you live on base?"

"Yeah, on Rose street. Flat 25."

The man had his phone out and was obviously writing down the address as Levi spoke.

"I assume I could just have it sent there without your name on it, but…that would seem strange, don't you agree?"

Levi raised an eyebrow. "If you want my name, you could just ask. It's Levi."

"Levi," the man repeated, that strange smile still on his face. "I'm Erwin." He offered a hand and Levi reached out to shake it, squeezing tighter than was necessary.

He took off his coat and handed it over. Erwin took it and draped it over his arm.

"You should hurry home before you get sick. It's too cold to be out without a coat for long."

"Yeah, no shit," Levi replied. Erwin nodded and, without a word, set off down the street.

It was only after Levi returned home that he realized the man hadn't asked for a last name.

"Needed my name to mail my coat, my ass," he muttered under his breath as he went to start the kettle, intending to make himself a new cup of tea before his schedule was thrown off too much.

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><p>Over the next three days, Levi found himself staying at home for all his meals and tea. His only coat was gone and, the longer he thought about it, the more he considered that it wasn't coming back. What kind of shit-for-brains trusted a complete stranger to have their coat cleaned? Him, apparently, although he liked to think he was smarter than that.<p>

The longer he stayed at home, the more stir crazy he became until he thought he'd completely lose his mind over it. Four days after giving up his coat, he bundled up in several warm sweaters, gloves, a hat, a scarf, and his warmest pair of boots with the intention of going to get his usual morning tea. As much as he hated being cold, he hated being cooped up at home even more.

As he went to open the door, he heard a heavy, unfamiliar knock on the door. He frowned. It couldn't be the mail; it was too early for that. Who else would be trying to talk to him though? He leaned up on his toes just enough so that he could reach the peep hole and looked through. A familiar man with blond hair was standing outside.

Levi couldn't believe it. There was simply no way Erwin had actually had his coat cleaned.

He opened the door, well aware that he looked ridiculous, and stared up at his guest.

"Hello, Levi." Erwin smiled as he extended his arm, Levi's coat draped over it. "I didn't think you would want to wait for your coat to come in the mail, so I decided to drop by." His smile was odd, more like one would give an old friend than a stranger. This fact did not escape Levi.

Levi knew he had to respond somehow. Perhaps thank the man for returning his coat, invite him inside, _something_. He was terrible at that sort of thing though, and it took him several seconds to respond; when he finally did, it was hardly a welcome.

"I thought you'd probably just thrown my coat out. Or sold it."

"I'd have to be a terrible person to take your winter coat, offer to clean it, and throw it out as soon as I got home," Erwin replied, that odd smile still on his face. Levi couldn't decide if it made him feel uncomfortable or not. "Of course, you hardly know me. I can't blame you for being suspicious."

Shit. The man had taken Levi's almost-insult in perfect stride. That was unusual. Levi liked it.

"Well, I guess I have to offer to let you come in and have a cup of tea with me," he said, stepping back from the door.

"I would like that very much." Erwin walked inside easily, as though he'd been in Levi's apartment before, as though he felt completely at home doing so. Levi didn't quite know what to make of the man, but he'd already decided he liked him.


	2. Day 2: Sacrifice (Erwin)

Day 2: Sacrifice [Erwin]

It's been over a year since Erwin met Levi, three months since he last saw him. Levi had left first, his leave having ended two weeks before Erwin's, and those last two weeks on base had been lonely. In a very short amount of time, Levi had become one of Erwin's closest friends; he told himself he could wait until they were on leave again.

Erwin grew restless too easily when he was on leave (something he'd discovered he had in common with Levi), so returning to work was a welcome reprieve.

The day the bomb went off had started like any other day. Erwin was in the back of the truck, going back over the tactical maneuver he'd laid out for his troops. It took him a split second too long to realize they had been ambushed. He pushed four other men, including his second-in-command, off the vehicle and had started to follow them when the vehicle exploded.

As the smoke cleared, Erwin was amazed to be alive. His right arm was full of shards of metal, rendering it useless. He forced himself to stand, knowing he had to stay strong to lead his team. They made it to a clearing and were airlifted out; Erwin only collapsed once everyone was safely on the helicopter.

Erwin had never woken up in a hospital before, and, yet, the sensation felt oddly familiar. Déjà vu. Yes, that was the term for it, he considered as he laid there, staring up at a ceiling that he couldn't help but think he'd seen before. He vaguely remembered the explosion, walking to the drop point, getting on the helicopter…there was nothing after that though.

A nurse would later reassure him that his team had all made it out alive and that Erwin would make a full recovery, save for his missing arm. It didn't seem like it was missing to Erwin though, what with the strange, prickling pain that seemed to run through it, the way his mind told him he could move it.

His men visited him a few days after he woke up and informed Erwin that, had he not pushed them out of the way, they all would have most likely died. As difficult as it was adjusting to not having his dominant arm, Erwin knew that the sacrifice had been worth it.

One week after the ambush, Erwin was informed that he had another visitor. As far as he knew, his injured men had returned home while his uninjured men had been reassigned (he also considered the thought that none of them were actually "his" men anymore). Even so, he accepted the visitor, for no other reason than because he needed something to do other than count the ceiling tiles.

When Levi walked in, Erwin blinked, unable to believe his eyes. He was the last person Erwin had expected to walk into that room. Levi, who shouldn't have known where Erwin was. Levi, who didn't rank high enough to use that as a reason to see Erwin. Levi, who Erwin had spent the better part of the past three months thinking about.

Levi took a seat on the left side of Erwin's bed, and as Erwin looked at him, something changed. He was still in a hospital, his arm was still missing, and Levi was there, but it was all different, just off from what it should have been. The bed and chair were wooden, and Levi was wearing a black jacket (it was quite becoming on him, Erwin thought). There was another voice, unrecognizable yet familiar, an old man on his right side, one that Erwin instinctively knew was a high ranking officer.

_"Commander."_

Commander? That…yes, that was right. Not quite, but…no, it was right. Erwin blinked as he heard that title, one he hadn't held in many years. In this room though, it felt right. Correct. Fitting.

He blinked again and the room dissolved, leaving him in a different hospital room, Levi still sitting at his side, although he looked different as well.

"Erwin, you do remember me, don't you?"

"Of course I do, Captain."

Levi's expression changed. It wasn't quite confused. It took Erwin a moment to realize what exactly he'd called Levi.

"Corporal." Not captain. Levi wasn't a captain. "Yes, I meant corporal."

Levi raised an eyebrow, stared at Erwin for several seconds, that same odd expression still on his face. He opened his mouth to speak, then closed it again.

"Thank you for coming to see me, Levi. But how—"

"I heard you'd been injured. I'm based near here and asked for a few days to come visit." He very nearly smiled. "I can be quite persuasive when I want to be."

It was only then that Levi allowed his eyes to move. Erwin watched as they fell on his shoulder, the spot where his arm should have been, then back up.

"The doctor said you would recover." Was that relief in Levi's voice? Erwin couldn't tell. Damn him for being so difficult to read.

"Did he? Yes, well, I suppose that's true, assuming recovery doesn't mean growing a new arm."

"Tch. You'll live."

Erwin laughed. Levi's bluntness was refreshing.

The two talked for a long time, until visiting hours were over. Neither one of them chose to discuss the strange moment when they had misplaced each other's true ranks. Captain and commander. The words felt right, and even as Levi left, Erwin could still hear him calling him "Commander."

He knew it wasn't the first time Levi had called him that.


	3. Day 3: HomeDomestic (Levi)

Day 3: Home/Domestic (Levi)

"O Captain, my Captain."

Levi looked up and, sure enough, Erwin was standing in the doorway of the kitchen, his hand stuffed in the pocket of his old, greying robe.

"Tch. Every morning, Commander. Really?" The words were annoyed, but there was a small smile on Levi's face, one that Erwin easily caught.

"Every morning."

Levi passed a mug of coffee over to Erwin, then went back to working on breakfast. Saturday mornings were pancake mornings, and Levi always made breakfast, since he was the first one up. He was still on a soldier's schedule, though, unlike Erwin, who had easily adjusted to retirement.

Levi had been on leave for the past six months. Rather than taking up residence in his usual apartment, he had decided to spend his leave with Erwin at the house the former general had purchased following his retirement from the military. In fact, when Erwin extended the offer, Levi accepted without a moment's hesitation. Later on he thought about how odd that was, how he, who enjoyed the peace and quiet that came with living alone, had agreed to live with someone without a second thought. Erwin wasn't just "someone" though. He was different, and even though Levi wasn't entirely sure why, he knew that was the case. It was best to just accept things like that.

Sure enough, he'd slipped into a routine very easily with Erwin. Living with him came naturally, more so than anything Levi had ever done. He had never once questioned the decision.

With a stack of pancakes on a plate in one hand, two extra plates in the other, Levi walked to the table. Erwin had already sat down, sporting reading glasses, and was maneuvering his way through the newspaper, a task he still hadn't quite mastered with one hand. Levi knew better than to offer help. Erwin was a capable man and had his pride.

Levi set a plate in front of Erwin, then returned to the kitchen to retrieve butter, syrup, and utensils. He didn't personally like syrup ("stupid, sticky shit," he called it), but Erwin did, and so it was always in the cupboard, faithfully stocked by Levi.

He sat down, buttered a pancake, and grabbed a portion of the paper that Erwin had already set aside. They were quiet, trading pieces of the paper back and forth as they ate. Words weren't necessary, they had realized. They could anticipate the other's needs without ever speaking, something which seemed more like it would fit people who had lived with each other for decades, rather than a few months. Neither man questioned it. Rather, they accepted it happily.

Although they didn't discuss it, both men regularly had odd…visions, at least, that's what Levi called them. He occasionally remembered back to the day they met, the way coffee turned to mud and the snowy sidewalk became filthy cobblestones. He'd seen several more things since them, all similar in that they involved Erwin.

Erwin.

Commander Erwin Smith.

Levi knew Erwin was a general, knew that calling him "Commander" was disrespectful. The first few times he'd done it, it had simply slipped out before he could stop it. Erwin had never seemed upset by this verbal demotion though; rather, it seemed to please him. In turn, he called Levi "Captain," a promotion from his actual ranking as a corporal. These names had stuck, although they used them only in private, neither man having any desire to explain the misuse of titles to anyone who happened to be paying attention.

Levi remembered back to his last break, to how strict his routine was. He'd felt more relaxed since he began living with Erwin. Routine was nice, but it wasn't Levi's tether to sanity like it once was. He took pleasure in lazy weekend mornings, in afternoon cleaning and/or grocery shopping (depending on what needed to be done), in evenings on the couch, watching the news, in spontaneous walks to the coffee shop, to the park, to buy socks (Erwin's all had holes in them, much to Levi's dismay).

Levi eventually realized this change was because Erwin gave him a sense of stability, one he had never had before. Stability made it easier to relax.

They finished eating, and both of them stood to clear the table. Erwin worked on dishes (insisting that he needed practice at washing them with one hand) while Levi took a shower, followed by Levi vacuuming the carpets while Erwin showered (again unassisted, for practice). With breakfast finished and both men clean, they put on their coats and left the house to pick up groceries for the week.

Upon their return, they sat down in the living room, Erwin with a book, Levi with his knitting. Again, silence. It was always a comfortable silence though, one that neither of them felt the need to fill with mindless chatter. It was one of Levi's favorite things about Erwin, having company without having to make conversation.

A few hours later, they ate a simple lunch, after which Erwin exercised his remaining arm with more "practice" while Levi did laundry.

Dinner. The evening news. Another hour of reading and knitting. Getting ready for bed.

They both said goodnight to each other, but just before they retreated to their separate bedrooms, something flashed through Levi's mind. The vision lasted only a moment, but it was long enough to see himself following Erwin to bed. Erwin said nothing when Levi came out of it, although Levi was certain Erwin knew what had happened. They always knew when the other was seeing something, even if they didn't talk about it.

"Goodnight, Erwin."

"Yes. Goodnight, Levi."

Levi left, closing the door to his room behind him. He laid down in bed and fell asleep, unaware that he would wake up the following morning in Erwin's bed with no recollection of how he got there, that Erwin would hold him until he woke up, that they would go to the kitchen for breakfast without ever discussing it. It would take him another two weeks to realize this was becoming a regular occurrence, and another few days still to notice that he was sleeping better, the bags under his eyes becoming less pronounced. Sharing a bed would eventually become a comfortable part of the routine without either man ever speaking a word about it. 


	4. Day 4: Little Things (Erwin)

Day 4: Little Things/Eruri Insiders (Erwin)

Every day, Levi disappears into his room for a while. Sometimes one hour, sometimes two, and, on a very rare occasion, longer than that. Erwin never questions him about it. He simply sits and reads, using that as an opportunity to be alone, something he rarely experiences with Levi living at his house.

Even though he didn't approach Levi about it didn't mean Erwin wasn't curious about what he did with himself while he was holed up. He liked to take guesses about what exactly his friend was up to. At first, he wondered if Levi was simply one of those people who needed some time to himself each day. That changed when Erwin spotted Levi leaving his room one day, his hands coated in black charcoal.

He began to consider other possibilities. Maybe Levi was a pyromaniac and liked burning things when he was alone? Erwin didn't mind, as long as his house didn't get burned down. Or perhaps Levi secretly enjoyed being messy, and just didn't want anyone to know. Erwin chuckled at the thought, knowing full well that it was absurd. Ideas continued to pile up in his mind, each one stranger than the last. Erwin knew that he was very likely wrong on all accounts; guessing had become more of a pastime than an actual attempt to find out what Levi was doing.

A few weeks later, he noticed a smudge of something green on Levi's cheek. The man was usually so meticulous about keeping himself clean that Erwin found himself staring at the mark.

"What?" Levi always knew how to sound accusatory. Erwin found it endearing.

"There's something on your face." Erwin gestured to the mirrored spot on his own cheek.

Levi blinked twice, stood up, and went to the bathroom. When he returned, the mark was gone. Erwin thought that would be the end of it (after all, Levi wasn't the type to want to draw attention to the fact that he'd had a mess on his face). He was caught off guard not five minutes later when Levi spoke.

"It was paint."

"I see." And that was the end of the conversation. Erwin knew better than to prod for information; if Levi wanted to share any, he would do so of his own accord.

Several weeks later (Erwin lost count), he found a small notebook abandoned on the table after he finished his shower. Levi had already disappeared off to his room, and Erwin had a feeling the notebook was his. He questioned whether or not he should actually look at it. After all, Levi was a very private person and to do something which might violate that would be to destroy the trust they had built up between them.

At the same time, Levi wasn't the type to overlook things. He never left anything out by accident, and Erwin doubted he had started now. If the book was out, it most likely meant that Erwin was supposed to see it.

He picked it up and went to sit on the couch, propping the notebook against one of his legs. He opened it slowly, reverently, as though he were peering into Levi's very soul.

The book was completely full, each page covered in pencil and charcoal sketches of varying degrees of detail. As Erwin flipped through the pages, he realized that he was the subject of several images.

He himself looked familiar. It was easy to pick out his own light hair, his jaw line, his build, especially on the pages where he was drawn standing next to a shorter man with a pointy face who was obviously Levi. The surroundings, however, were foreign to him. Massive walls, huge trees, himself on horseback (Erwin couldn't remember ever riding a horse, although the idea had always appealed to him), and both men hanging from buildings and trees, as though they were flying.

The clothes were unusual too. They were the same on every page, with him and Levi wearing similar outfits distinguished only by their size.

_Uniforms_, Erwin thought. _They have to be uniforms_.

Each uniform had insignia on the front pocket and the sleeves, but it was difficult to make out. Thankfully, Levi had sketched out the symbol on a separate page.

Wings. Intricate wings overlapping, each feather separately drawn. It looked reminiscent of a crest, like those that Erwin had seen in his history books. Erwin found himself staring at that page the longest, memorizing the symbol as though he were afraid he might forget it otherwise.

It was familiar. So many things were familiars, from the insignia, to the locations, to the way he and Levi seemed to fly.

_Wings. How appropriate_, Erwin thought with a smile, allowing his finger to trace around one particular image of Levi in the air, blades in his hands.

As Erwin arrived at the last of the pages, he found a final series of sketches, all of himself. Levi had taken care to draw Erwin in detail, clothed and unclothed, with and without his right arm. The images looked as though Levi had been drawing Erwin for years, as though he had ever line, every curve of his body embedded in his memory.

Had they been drawn by anyone else, Erwin would have been concerned that he had a stalker, or that someone had some otherwise unhealthy obsession with him. This was Levi though. His closest friend. A man with whom he shared an odd connection, as though he'd known Levi for decades. He found it difficult to take any issue with the drawings.

Erwin arrived at the last page to find a picture of himself and Levi, their backs facing him, the wings displayed on their backs. They stood somewhere high up (perhaps on top of the strange walls?), looking out at a sunset (or maybe a sunrise? Erwin couldn't tell). Underneath their cloaks, Erwin could just make out their hands clasped around each other's.

Without a second though, Erwin tore out the page, folded it up, and carefully tucked it away in his shirt pocket. He closed the sketchbook and replaced it on the table where it would wait for Levi.

Levi would later finish in his room and by that evening, the book would be gone again. Erwin would keep the pilfered sketch in his bedside drawer. Reflecting over that image for a few minutes would become a part of his morning routine, the winged insignia burned into his memory.


	5. Day 5: Distance (Levi)

Day 5: Distance/Separation (Levi)

Time seemed to move too quickly and suddenly, with what felt like no warning at all, Levi found himself packing, preparing for the start of a two year tour. Neither he nor Erwin spoke of it, and when the day finally came for him to leave, he simply said to Erwin, "Keep the house clean. I'll write." Erwin responded equally simply, with little more than a good bye and a salute (though not the standard military salute; something different, more meaningful, his left hand in a fist behind his back while his right arm twitched just slightly, enough to show it would have been moving, had it been there).

Levi did write, once a week, as though this act were something he had been ordered to do. His letters were simple, since there were many things he couldn't include if he didn't want the information blacked out. Most times, he made do with reassuring Erwin that he was safe. Deep down, he knew Erwin would appreciate that just as much as anything.

Whenever Levi experienced visions, it was always as he went about his routine. One touch, one look, he never knew what exactly would trigger something. It was always similar to the situation he found himself in, yet entirely foreign in a different way. He knew if he tried to explain it to anyone, he would have sounded insane. Erwin understood though. Without speaking about it, Levi knew that Erwin had those moments too.

He'd been under the impression that when he returned to duty, he would no longer have those visions. After all, with Erwin gone, who was going to trigger them? Two weeks into the tour, he began dreaming. The dreams were of the same place as the visions, but vivid in a different way. They lasted longer than the visions, gave him more material, sometimes felt like they lasted entire days.

He saw himself back in the dim light of wherever he'd gone when he first met Erwin. He eventually realized it was an underground city, that he'd lived there, that Erwin had captured him. When he awoke from that dream, he found himself suddenly able to understand the strange pulse of undeserved hatred he'd felt toward Erwin that day he'd bumped into him on the sidewalk.

Other dreams came and went, and when he woke he frequently found he had stronger images of scenes he'd seen before. Instead of just him and Erwin standing on a wall, he saw them climbing up it, looking down one side into the city, down the other side in what felt like both freedom and abyss. They flew through trees for what felt like hours, so much more than the brief flashes he used to get of them standing on branches.

Other dreams were quieter, more intimate. Levi, sneaking down a hall to someone else's room, Erwin's room. Levi, slipping under the covers, curling up against Erwin's warm, strong body. Levi, with Erwin on top of him, gasping and moaning his name as he took him, sometimes sweet and loving, sometimes rough, like they'd never get another chance. Sometimes he woke up to discover he'd made a mess of his bunk. Clean as he was, he always washed everything before anyone else had time to notice.

Levi didn't believe in reincarnation, or soul mates, or fate, destiny, any of what he considered meaningless words.

He did, however, believe in Erwin.

A year into his tour, Levi was called in to receive his squad's orders for their next mission. As a Corporal in special operations, Levi had been on his fair share of dangerous missions and knew what to expect. For some reason though, one he couldn't quite put his finger on, this felt different.

The night before his squad was to leave, Levi sat down with pen and paper to write a letter to Erwin.

Dear Commander,

You know I can't tell you where I am or what I'm doing (not without getting those shitty black marks all over the page). The most I can say is that I've got a pretty fucking dangerous assignment I'm going on tomorrow. Hopefully you'll never actually end up seeing this; if you do, it means I'm probably dead or captured. I'm leaving this with someone with orders to send it only if I don't come back. If I do make it back, I'll probably burn this piece of shit and pretend I never wrote it.

I keep dreaming about you. I can't explain how or why (I'd sound insane if I did, especially if I tried to articulate it in a letter), but I do. You probably know what I mean without me trying to explain it anyhow.

If I do die, you can have whatever's in my room. I doubt I have anything worth selling, but if I do, sell it. Or keep it. Like I give a fuck. It's yours though. Everything's yours. Not like I have anyone else to leave it to.

If you get this, I'm sorry I couldn't come home to talk to you about everything in person. Don't think I didn't want to.

Captain Levi

With the letter written, sealed, and addressed, Levi went to sleep. His dreams that night seemed to span an entire lifetime. He'd wake up only to forget everything as soon as he'd made his bed.

The mission went badly. Levi watched as his entire squad, people he'd hand-picked and trained himself, were gunned down. Somehow he made it out alive with nothing worse than a terribly twisted left leg. Everything that occurred after his injury seemed a blur which didn't clear until he woke up, having been extracted. He was safe, relatively so. He was informed his leg would heal. He was told he would be incapable of continuing as a squad leader for special operations, at least until it was determined whether or not he would make a full recovery. He knew his rescuers had said more than that, but could only remember the bare minimum. When he was finally allowed to sleep, it was dreamless for the first time in months.

Levi finally began to think things through once he was in the hospital, his leg immobilized, his head clear. He had the letter he'd written returned to him, and without opening it, he burned it while nobody was looking (he doubted he was allowed to have an open flame in a hospital). Had Levi been a religious man, he'd have thanked God that he hadn't had to send it. He began campaigning to be transferred to a hospital near Erwin's home. Erwin would visit him, wouldn't he? And once Levi had recovered enough, he could go home.

Home.

That had never been a word Levi used very often. There was no home; only places where he lived for a given period of time.

As he sat there, watching the last of the flames as they destroyed the letter, he knew he had a home and would be returning there as soon as he possibly could.


	6. Day 6: Reunion (Erwin)

Day 6: Reunion (Erwin)

The day Erwin got the call that Levi was returning, that his physical therapy could happen at a nearby hospital, he thought he was going to burst into tears. If he'd been the type of man to cry from joy, he would have. Instead, he simply replied that yes, he would be home a week later, the day Levi was set to arrive, and that, yes, he would be willing to accompany him to the hospital, if Levi was incapable of making it on his own.

Prior to Levi's departure, Erwin knew he cared for the man. He enjoyed his company and knew without a doubt that he would miss Levi when he left. However, he hadn't been prepared for just how much he would miss him, for the way Levi's absence would tear at his heart, the way sleeping alone every single night would become a difficult task. He found himself making extra food, extra coffee, extra tea every day for a full six months before he readjusted to providing for one. Long before that six months had passed, Erwin knew without a doubt that he was in love with Levi.

He'd planned to leave Levi's room well enough alone while Levi was gone. One day, when he was missing Levi too much to bear, when the curiosity finally overcame him, he opened the door and stepped inside. Levi's smell hit him hard, perfectly preserved, exactly like Levi had smelled before he left. There was something else too though, the smell of paints.

Levi had canvasses stationed all around his room in various states of completion. Several were fully painted images, things Erwin knew he'd seen before, even if it was just in his dreams. Others were simply sketches copied onto canvas, waiting to be filled with color. Erwin spotted one painting that matched the sketch he had of himself and Levi, torn out of Levi's notebook months earlier. The winged insignia was even more prominent in color. When Erwin finally left Levi's room, he knew that he wanted that image to stay with him forever. Long before Levi returned home, before Erwin even knew he was returning home, the wings would be tattooed on his back, modeled after Levi's painting.

The day Levi was supposed to return, Erwin found himself pacing the house. He knew he should have sat down, should have read or watched TV or done something to keep his mind occupied. Deep down, he could tell that no matter what he did, Levi would be on his mind. Besides, what if he arrived early? Erwin wanted to get to the door as soon as possible. Because Levi couldn't be expected to stand on his leg too long. At least, that's what he told himself.

He found himself fighting back terrible thoughts, that Levi had changed his mind and stayed wherever he was, that Levi wasn't arriving today, that Levi's car had wrecked on its way to Erwin's house, that Levi—

There was a heavy knock on the door. Within a fraction of a second, Erwin had crossed the room and wrenched the door open. Levi was standing there, looking up at Erwin, his eyes just as hard and stern as they always were. At least they were at first. Erwin noticed the way Levi's expression changed as their eyes met. It was a very small change, one that Erwin didn't think anyone else would have noticed. It was there though. Levi was happy to see him too.

As soon as they were inside with the door closed and locked, Erwin wrapped his arm tight around Levi, pulling him close. He'd never done anything like that to Levi before, not physically, not anywhere outside of his dreams. He couldn't help himself though and, thankfully, Levi made no attempt to stop him.

"I missed you." Again, Erwin couldn't help himself. Having Levi gone had been painful and now that he was back, he didn't want to dance around the issue more than he already had.

"I missed you too," Levi replied, wrapping his arms around Erwin's middle.

Erwin pressed his nose against Levi's hair and took a deep breath, inhaling his scent. Exactly like he remembered, exactly like Levi's room smelled. If Levi thought it was odd, he didn't say anything about it.

Erwin finally stepped back, loosening his hold on Levi.

"You should sit down. I don't want your leg ending up any worse than it already is."

"It's fine. I can stand." Even with that declaration, Levi went to sit down on the couch, right next to where Erwin usually sat. Erwin took his usual seat, hesitating a moment before slipping his arm around Levi's shoulders. He was thrilled when Levi leaned into him and relaxed.

They sat in silence for several minutes before Erwin spoke.

"Would you like to talk about your squad?"

"I've talked to three shrinks about my squad, so, no, not really."

"That's perfectly fine."

Erwin didn't push the subject and Levi didn't bring it up again.

"Your paintings are beautiful."

"What?" Levi sat up a little, moving to look at Erwin, frowning.

"I'm sorry. I hadn't planned to go in your room, but I knew you'd like it to be clean." A small lie, yes, but it was an explanation less pathetic than the real one.

"Tch. It's fine. I'm surprised you didn't go in sooner just to see what I was up to." Levi didn't sound upset, thankfully

"I never would have wanted to invade your privacy."

"Like I said, it's fine."

"I missed you, Levi," Erwin said, smiling slightly. Now that he knew Levi wouldn't respond negatively to him when he said things like that, he found it much harder to resist.

"Missed you too. A lot." Erwin knew Levi didn't say things purely for the sake of other's feelings. If Levi said he missed him, he must have really meant it.

As the two were preparing for bed that evening, Erwin intentionally skipped wearing his night shirt.

"Erwin."

"Yes, Levi?" How lucky he was that Levi was clearly planning to sleep in Erwin's bed with him, even after all the time that had passed.

"What the fuck is that?" Levi didn't sound angry as he stared at Erwin's back. Erwin smiled slightly, glancing over his shoulder at Levi.

"The wings. I've always liked them, but you colored them especially nicely."

Without a word, Levi was standing behind Erwin, tracing over the recently-healed tattoo, fingers moving up to the tips of the wings which were aligned with Erwin's shoulder blades. He recognized the way the colors flowed.

"You took this from that painting, didn't you?"

"Which painting?"

"The one I made based on the sketch you stole."

At that, Erwin chuckled.

"What the hell's so funny, old man?"

"How long have you known I stole that sketch?"

"Since about twenty minutes after you tore it out, you ass."

Of course. Levi was a thorough man and would have known immediately that a page was missing. Erwin loved that about him.

"I take it you weren't that upset with me."

"Tch. No. I left the book out for you to look at. I shouldn't have been surprised that you started ripping pages out." He sounded almost amused, a fact which made Erwin smile.

Without a word, Erwin sat down on the edge of the bed and moved to open his bedside table drawer, extracting an old piece of paper. He handed it to Levi.

"I didn't steal it. I borrowed it. You can have it back now." He had Levi, and that was far more important than any piece of paper.

Levi huffed.

"Keep it. It's a gift. So you won't have theft on your record."

"That's very kind of you, Captain." He tucked the sketch back in its former hiding place, then turned back to Levi. He briefly considered telling Levi that he loved him, that he felt empty while he was gone, that he wanted to keep him there with him, never let him go. He stopped himself though. Levi wasn't the most sentimental of creatures. The last thing Erwin wanted was to make him uncomfortable or, worse, scare him away.

"I'm tired." Levi crawled into bed unceremoniously, taking up his side of the mattress. Erwin laid down next to him, pulling him against his body with his arm. Levi's body relaxed, and within a few minutes, Erwin was positive he was asleep.

"O Captain, my Captain," he whispered, quietly, speaking only because he didn't think Levi could hear him. "I love you."


	7. Day 7: Future (Levi)

_**Author's Note: Hi everyone! Here's the last chapter of this piece. Sorry it took me so long to get it posted. **_

_**This is the first fic I've written for eruri, so please comment and let me know how you liked it! You can also follow me at my Levi tumblr, .com (this url may change soon, and I'll try to update it here if that happens. If I don't, feel free to message me for it). **_

_**Thanks for reading!**_

* * *

><p>It took Levi a full two years to finally decide it was time to retire. His leg had never quite healed enough for him to return to special operations and anything else would have felt like a demotion at that point. At least, that was the reason he gave anyone who asked. Deep down, he knew it wasn't worth it to leave Erwin behind again. He finally had a home and found himself ready to settle down.<p>

As a celebration of his retirement, Levi decided to have the wings tattooed on his back as well. With a painted version of the symbol in hand, Erwin took him to the same place he'd had his done.

The outline came first. On a second visit, the color and shading. Levi told Erwin he was fine with going by himself, but Erwin insisted on going with him, sitting at his side for the long hours he spent under the needle. Finally, after two long sessions, Levi's wings were complete, spreading across his back, the tips just reaching his shoulders. They were beautiful, a nearly perfect copy of the version he had painted. They sat exactly where the insignia always was in his visions. The only difference was that instead of being on a uniform, his wings were permanently etched on his skin.

One of the benefits to a back tattoo was that Levi couldn't handle the aftercare on his own. He began to enjoy the evening ritual of having dinner together, cleaning up, followed by him lying on his stomach on the bed while Erwin cleaned everything and made sure it was healing properly.

"Who took care of yours?"

"A friend?"

"Someone I know?"

"No. Hanji was promoted when I retired, and they weren't on leave at the same time as you." Erwin paused. "I think you'd like them."

"I might. The name sounds familiar."

"But I haven't talked about them be—"

"I know that," Levi said, cutting him off. "The name is familiar." He frowned to himself. Had he drank enough at dinner to be willing to talk about this? Had Erwin had enough to listen? Before he could fully answer the questions, he heard himself starting to talk.

"I see things, Erwin. Ever since the first day we met. I looked up at you after I fell and you were there, but everything else was different, and I _hated_ you. I wanted to kill you because you'd done something to me, worse than getting tea on my coat. And then…it was over, and I was back." He paused, trying to decide how to keep going. Thankfully, Erwin sensed that Levi had more to say and didn't respond. He just patiently waited.

"It happened again when I visited you in the hospital. And more after we started living together. I thought it'd stop when I left again, but it just…happened more." The confusion was obvious in his voice. He was silent for several seconds before hearing Erwin speak.

"Go on, Levi."

There was no hint of judging in his voice, no indication that he thought Levi was crazy. Levi sighed, relieved that he'd guessed right. Erwin must have experienced something similar. How else could he accept what he was saying so easily? Of course Levi had guessed right. Erwin had calmly accepted his calling him "Commander" all this time. Called him "Captain" in return. It seemed so obvious now that he was speaking. Erwin had known all along.

"I started dreaming. About you. Almost every night. I have sketches of those, somewhere, I don't know where. I'm not sure where all my things ended up. That's what those paintings were though. The ones in my room. And the sketches. All things I saw or dreamed or…fuck, whatever you want to call what happened.

"I don't believe in supernatural bullshit, Erwin. I never have. I don't know what's going on between you and me, but it's weird as fuck. Like…like we were…"

"Like we were meant to be together," Erwin finished, his voice eternally calm, more so when compared to the way Levi's thoughts were jumbled, tangled together like a web he couldn't decipher.

"Yeah…" Levi's voice softened. "Like that."

"I can't explain it either," Erwin said, still calm, starting to move his hands over Levi's back again. That was right. He was cleaning the tattoo. Levi knew there was a reason they were like this.

"I guess it doesn't matter what the explanation is," Levi muttered, relaxing against the bed again. "It's something though. You've seen it too. When it happens, it feels real. Like I've known you forever, not just for a few years."

Erwin moved away, finished, and Levi sat up. When he turned to look at Erwin, Erwin was smiling.

"Levi, whatever the explanation is, I believe I've known you for a long time." Something in Erwin's tone told Levi it was the truth. How he knew Erwin didn't matter. All that mattered was that he _did_ know him, _had_ known him. Levi was soon pulled out of his thoughts again.

"O Captain, my Captain…I realized while you were gone that I needed you. Your letters were the best thing about that year. I didn't want to frighten you away when you came back, so I tried not to let on too much just how badly I'd missed you."

Without another word, Erwin leaned forward and took Levi's face in his hands. He kissed him gently, lovingly, and while it was the first time they'd kissed each other, Levi felt like he'd done it a thousand times, just like that. Erwin's hands felt perfect against his skin, as though they were made to hold him and him alone. He found his own hands sliding to Erwin's chest and settling against it, his fingers closing around his shirt just enough to keep him there.

It was over too soon, and Levi was, uncharacteristically, at a complete loss for words.

Erwin ran his thumb over Levi's lips, slightly swollen from the kiss, a soft look on his face.

"Levi, I love you."

Levi blinked. He was sitting in a room, yes, but it was different. He was fully dressed, as was Erwin, in a uniform with the wings over the pocket.

"I love you, Levi." This Erwin said the words again, just before everything faded back into focus, just as it had been before.

"Levi?"

"I heard you. You said you…" he paused. "You said it then too."

Erwin looked confused for a fraction of a second before realizing what Levi meant.

"Ah. Did I."

"You did."

"And what did you say back?"

"I don't know. It ended before that."

"That's unfortunate."

"I wanted to say it. I just…it ended too fast."

"Levi, it's alright. You don't have to say it now. Just let me say it." Erwin smiled softly, brushing the backs of his knuckles over Levi's cheek. "Levi, I would like you to stay with me."

"I'm already living with you…"

"Not live with me. Stay with me." His eyes were earnest. "Please."

Levi finally understood what he was asking.

"Erwin…Commander…" he almost smiled at the title. "I'm retired too. I'm not going anywhere. Not without you, anyways. I felt shitty being away from you and I don't feel like doing that to myself again."

Erwin broke into a smile, then wrapped his arms around Levi, his hands at the small of his back, acting carefully so as not to touch the still-healing wings.

"That's all I wanted to hear."

Levi slid his arms around Erwin, over his shoulders, pulling him close. The gesture was just as familiar as the kiss.

"I love you too."

"Levi…I don't want you to feel like you have to say that back."

"I don't. I'm overdue, anyways. You said it to me two years ago, right after I got back."

Erwin pulled away, looking at Levi, surprised.

"Did I?"

"Stupid ass. You thought I was asleep."

Erwin chuckled softly. "Did I?"

"Stop saying that. You know what you did."

"Do I?"

"Tch. You sound like a shitty parrot."

"Yes, I suppose I do."

"Admit that you said it."

"Yes, Levi, I said it after I thought you were asleep. I couldn't help myself."

Levi looked satisfied with the confession.

"Like I said, I'm overdue."

Erwin kissed Levi again, this time harder, but quicker.

"Tell me again then, and I won't argue this time."

"Erwin Smith, I love you, and I intend to stay with you. Even if you're shit at figuring out when I'm sleeping."

With a laugh, Erwin pulled Levi down on top of him. The light was shut off and Levi curled up against Erwin, reluctant to let any space come between them. As they drifted off, Erwin held Levi close.

"My Captain."


End file.
